How to Comfort Someone Before Their Open Heart Surgery

Posted by Heart Hugger on Aug 25, 2019 9:28:00 AM

caring for heart surgery patient

Open heart surgery is a major medical procedure that can be intimidating for patients and their loved ones alike. Whether it's a coronary artery bypass, valve repair or replacement, or another cardiac procedure, the prospect of open heart surgery often brings a mix of hope and anxiety.

As a friend, family member, or caregiver, your support can make a significant difference in your loved one's experience before, during, and after the surgery. This comprehensive guide will help you navigate this challenging time and provide the best possible support.

UNDERSTANDING OPEN HEART SURGERY

Before diving into support strategies, it's crucial to have a basic understanding of what open heart surgery entails. This knowledge will help you better empathize with your loved one's situation and provide more informed support.

What is Open Heart Surgery?

Open heart surgery is a procedure where surgeons open the chest cavity to perform surgery on the heart. The most common types include:

  1. Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting (CABG): Used to treat coronary artery disease by improving blood flow to the heart.
  2. Heart Valve Repair or Replacement: Addresses issues with heart valves that aren't functioning properly.
  3. Aneurysm Repair: Fixes a bulge in the wall of the heart or aorta.
  4. Heart Transplantation: Replaces a diseased heart with a healthy donor heart.

The Procedure

Typically, open heart surgery involves:

  1. General anesthesia
  2. An incision in the chest
  3. Temporarily stopping the heart and using a heart-lung machine
  4. Performing the necessary repair or replacement
  5. Restarting the heart
  6. Closing the incision

Understanding these basics can help you comprehend what your loved one is facing and the significance of the procedure.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT: BEING THERE FOR YOUR LOVED ONE

The emotional impact of impending heart surgery can be profound. Your role in providing emotional support is crucial.

Creating a Safe Space for Expression

Encourage your loved one to express their feelings openly. This might include:

  • Fear about the procedure
  • Anxiety about the recovery process
  • Worry about their family
  • Concerns about their mortality

Listen actively without judgment. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply be present and attentive.

Validating Feelings

Acknowledge that their feelings are valid and normal. Avoid dismissing their concerns or trying to "fix" their emotions. Instead, use phrases like:

  • "It's completely understandable to feel scared."
  • "Your feelings are valid. This is a big deal."
  • "I'm here to listen whenever you need to talk."

Offering Reassurance

While it's important not to downplay their concerns, offering gentle reassurance can be helpful:

  • Remind them of the medical team's expertise and experience
  • Share positive statistics about success rates for their specific procedure
  • Focus on the potential improvements to their quality of life post-surgery

Maintaining a Positive Yet Realistic Attitude Strike a balance between positivity and realism. It's okay to be optimistic about the outcome while also acknowledging the seriousness of the situation. This approach can help your loved one feel both supported and understood.

PRACTICAL SUPPORT: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

While emotional support is crucial, practical assistance can significantly reduce stress for your loved one.

Pre-Surgery Preparations

  1. Accompany them to medical appointments: Offer to drive them to pre-op appointments and take notes during consultations.
  2. Help with paperwork: Assist in organizing medical documents, insurance papers, and any necessary legal documents like advance directives.
  3. Prepare their home: Help set up a comfortable recovery area in their home, ensuring everything they'll need post-surgery is easily accessible.
  4. Pack their hospital bag: Assist in packing essentials for their hospital stay.

Household Assistance

  1. Meal preparation: Stock their freezer with easy-to-reheat meals for when they return home.
  2. Childcare or pet care: Arrange for the care of children or pets during their hospital stay and initial recovery period.
  3. House cleaning: Ensure their living space is clean and organized before surgery.
  4. Bill management: Offer to help manage bills or set up automatic payments to prevent missed deadlines during recovery.

Coordinating Support

  1. Create a support network: Organize friends and family members to help with various tasks.
  2. Set up a meal train: Coordinate meal deliveries for the first few weeks post-surgery.
  3. Manage communications: Offer to be the point person for updates to friends and family, reducing the burden on your loved one or their immediate family.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT TO AVOID

Your words can have a powerful impact. Here's a guide on how to communicate effectively:

Comforting Phrases to Use

  1. "I'm here for you, no matter what you need."
  2. "How are you feeling about everything?"
  3. "It's okay to feel nervous or scared. That's completely normal."
  4. "The medical team has extensive experience with this procedure."
  5. "I'll be waiting for you after the surgery."
  6. "Would you like a hug?" (Always ask for consent first)
  7. "I love you and I'm thinking of you."
  8. "Is there anything specific you're worried about that you'd like to talk through?"
  9. "You're not alone in this. We're all here to support you."
  10. "It's okay if you don't want to talk. I'm here to sit with you in silence too."

Phrases to Avoid

  1. "I know exactly how you feel." (Unless you've had the same surgery)
  2. "At least it's not [insert worse scenario]."
  3. "Don't worry about it."
  4. "You'll be fine." (While well-intentioned, this can dismiss their valid concerns)
  5. "It could be worse."
  6. "Just think positive and everything will be okay."
  7. "You're young/healthy, so you'll recover quickly."
  8. "I had a friend who had this surgery and..." (Avoid sharing potentially frightening stories)

Remember, sometimes saying less and simply being present is more powerful than trying to find the perfect words.

SUPPORTING MENTAL HEALTH

The psychological impact of impending heart surgery shouldn't be underestimated. Here are ways to support your loved one's mental health:

Encouraging Professional Support

  1. Suggest speaking with a mental health professional if they're experiencing severe anxiety or depression.
  2. Look into whether their cardiac care team includes a psychologist or counselor specializing in supporting heart surgery patients.

Promoting Relaxation Techniques

  1. Introduce them to deep breathing exercises or guided imagery.
  2. Suggest trying mindfulness meditation apps.
  3. Encourage gentle yoga or stretching routines (with doctor's approval).

Facilitating Connections

  1. Help them join a support group for heart surgery patients.
  2. Connect them with others who have successfully undergone similar procedures (if they're interested).

Maintaining Routine and Normalcy

  1. Encourage them to maintain as much of their normal routine as possible leading up to surgery.
  2. Plan enjoyable activities or outings (within medical guidelines) to provide positive distractions.

EDUCATING YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Being well-informed about the surgery and recovery process can help you provide better support and may also help answer some of your loved one's questions.

Research the Procedure

  1. Learn about the specific type of open heart surgery they're undergoing.
  2. Understand the typical recovery timeline and process.
  3. Familiarize yourself with potential complications and how to recognize them.

Prepare for Post-Surgery Care

  1. Learn about wound care and how to assist with it if needed.
  2. Understand dietary restrictions or recommendations post-surgery.
  3. Know what physical activities will be allowed or restricted during recovery.

Educate Other Family Members

  1. Share your knowledge with other family members or friends who will be involved in care.
  2. Help create a unified support system by ensuring everyone has accurate information.

PREPARING FOR RECOVERY

While the focus may be on the surgery itself, it's also helpful to discuss and prepare for the recovery process. This can shift perspective towards the future and healing.

Setting Realistic Expectations

  1. Discuss the typical length of hospital stay.
  2. Talk about the gradual nature of recovery and the importance of patience.
  3. Prepare for potential emotional challenges during recovery, such as mood swings or depression.

Planning for Home Care

  1. Arrange for necessary medical equipment at home (e.g., hospital bed, shower chair).
  2. Modify the home environment for safety and convenience (e.g., removing tripping hazards, setting up a ground floor sleeping area if needed).
  3. Stock up on recommended post-surgery foods and supplies.

Understanding Follow-up Care

  1. Learn about cardiac rehabilitation programs.
  2. Familiarize yourself with medication schedules and potential side effects.
  3. Know the signs that would necessitate contacting a doctor or returning to the hospital.

SELF-CARE FOR CAREGIVERS

As you focus on supporting your loved one, it's crucial not to neglect your own well-being.

Managing Your Own Stress

  1. Practice stress-reduction techniques like meditation or exercise.
  2. Maintain your own support network of friends or a therapist.
  3. Take breaks and allow yourself time to recharge.

Sharing Responsibilities

  1. Don't try to do everything yourself. Accept help from others.
  2. Create a schedule to share caregiving duties among family members or friends.

Maintaining Your Health

  1. Keep up with your own medical appointments and health needs.
  2. Ensure you're getting enough sleep and eating well.
  3. Find time for activities you enjoy to maintain balance in your life.

EMBRACING THE JOURNEY: LONG-TERM SUPPORT AND LIFESTYLE CHANGES

Supporting a loved one through open heart surgery is a significant undertaking, but your care and presence can make a world of difference. By providing emotional support, practical assistance, and informed care, you can help your loved one navigate this challenging time with greater ease and confidence.

Remember that every person's experience with heart surgery is unique. Be flexible in your approach and always prioritize open communication with your loved one about their needs and preferences. Your support, combined with the expertise of the medical team, creates the best possible environment for a successful surgery and recovery.

As you embark on this journey alongside your loved one, don't hesitate to seek additional resources or support for yourself. Cardiac care organizations, hospital social workers, and support groups for caregivers can provide valuable information and assistance.

Your compassion, dedication, and support are invaluable gifts to your loved one during this critical time. By being informed, present, and caring, you're playing a crucial role in their journey towards better health and recovery.

 

Souces:

Cleveland Clinic - Open-Heart Surgery

NIH -  What Is Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting?

 

 
Heart Hugger

Written by Heart Hugger

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